Running effective 1:1 for managers and reports.

According to a recent Gallup article, “at least 75% of the reasons for voluntary turnover can be influenced by managers.” For people manager of product managers, you know it’s a hard job juggling the responsibilities as an individual contributor, work reviewer, and career coach.

However, it’s also equally difficult reporting to a people manager who is also a product manager. As an individual PM, you own the product and know the details. Thus, you want autonomy.

To hash these and other issues, managers and direct reports dedicate 1:1 time. But few product managers are taught how to lead or use 1:1. Let me show you an easy way with templates and advice to make your 1:1 better.

What is 1:1?

1:1 (aka 1-on-1) is a dedicated meeting time between you and your manager. During this time, you and your manager may discuss issues, work products, projects, specific or general performance feedback, promotion, and compensation.

Why do it?

For people manager, several reasons:

• provide direction or feedback
• share and receive information
• teach, train, and learn
• veto decisions or actions

For direct report, several reasons:

• gather and provide information
• learn and teach
• seek advice or approval
• challenge perspective or decisions

See the similarities? Two sides of the same coin.

Practice makes perfect: How to run an effective 1:1 (as the direct report)?

1. Set up a recurring calendar invite. One hour, every other week. If you send the calendar invite, you have control over the timing and agenda. Going out on vacation? You can cancel it. Your manager will appreciate your ownership over your work and career.
2. Come prepared with discussion topics. Prepare with issues, questions, or topics you want to discuss. If you can’t think of anything to discuss, ask your manager to help you explore discussion topics. That is a great topic for setting up the foundation to all recurring 1:1 meetings.
3. Document work updates in writing. I see a majority of 1:1 meetings are spent discussing project or work status, restating the obvious. Make it easier for your manager and you by spending 5 minutes writing it down using 1:1 Template (work update tab). Writing also prepares you for possible discussion areas during the 1:1.

How to run an effective 1:1 (as the people manager)?

1. Agree to a recurring time and stick to it. People managers who consistently reschedule or decline 1:1 time are sending the wrong signal. It says, “This meeting isn’t important.” If you don’t make the time to meet with your direct report, you shouldn’t be a people manager. You have to scale your impact through others and this is a key part of your responsibility.
2. Ask direct reports to give written work updates and read it prior to the meeting. Reading work updates saves you time. It allows you to discuss any topic in further depth, rather than wasting time recapping the basics. Reading also helps you identify any gaps between what you think should be occurring versus what your direct report. Lastly, it increases the potential to elevate the discussion during the 1:1 meeting by preparation (e.g., disagreements, exploration, co-creation).
3. Use meetings for in depth exploration. As you review the written work update (see template), respond directly in the document if you have explicit instructions (e.g., “Chat with customer service to review new FAQ copy”). Then, use the 1:1 meeting to elaborate on how to perform a specific tactic if there are questions (e.g., who specifically to talk to in customer service, how to resolve conflicting points of views). Alternatively, the meeting can be used to brainstorm tactics together or explore if the direct report disagrees with the explicit instructions (e.g., has a different approach, already tried but didn’t work).
4. Write down action items for you and your direct report. Like other meetings, 1:1 meetings often have action items for you and/or your direct report. Write it down. This is especially important if there are things you have to do based on a discussion (e.g., I will talk to HR about an issue my direct report raised). Your direct report will appreciate your follow up.
5. Incorporate praise and recognition. Problems often roll uphill. The easier ones that didn’t come to your attention were resolved. Thus, people managers can become myopic to positive news, forgetting to give recognition. So, take a minute in the 1:1 Template to document recognition of something done well.
6. Solicit +1/-1 feedback at the end of the meeting. Ask your direct report, what’s one thing they found helpful that you did during the meeting and what’s one thing they wish you did/change during the meeting. This isn’t for general feedback as a manager, but specific to the 1:1 meeting you just had. Don’t wait for this on a quarterly basis. You’ll be surprised to learn what your direct report tells you, and it’ll help you adjust 1:1 meetings accordingly.

1:1 Template | 1:1 Example (before 1:1 meeting) | 1:1 Example (after 1:1 meeting)

Principles for good 1:1 meetings (mostly for people managers).

• The meeting duration should work for both of you. Some people like longer, 1 hour meetings to discuss topics in depth. Others prefer shorter 30 minute tactical discussions around projects. There won’t be a one size fits all. So, discuss what works between you two. Once you settle on it, stick to it for 3–4 meetings before adjusting.
• People managers need to be explicit and understand the difference between instruction and guidance. Instruction is a command. Guidance is a suggestion, a feedforward. If a manager says “Shaw, you should review your flow diagram with Jamal in customer service,” will Shaw interpret this as an instruction or guidance? What if Shaw talks to Linda instead of Jamal in customer service? People managers need to understand the difference and be explicit on instruction vs. guidance by asking yourself, “Am I okay if what I say is entirely ignored by my direct report?” If the answer is yes, then it’s guidance, an idea for consideration. Offer it and tell your direct report it’s guidance. They will appreciate the clarity and autonomy.
• People managers should ask open questions. What’s the main thing standing in your way to accomplishing XYZ? How would you solve this problem? What might you suggest we do? These are open questions versus closed, binary questions such as “Are you going to do XYZ?” By asking open questions, you engage the person to think and create the potential for other options that you may not have considered.
• People managers with an open mindset can learn from their direct reports. Earlier in my career as a people manager, I incorrectly thought 1:1 was solely for the benefit of my direct reports. But over my career, I’ve learned to value 1:1 meeting as a way for me to learn and grow. You learn by being asked and presented with challenging questions. You grow by managing different people, with different backgrounds, skills, and career goals. So welcome challenges and differing opinions, even if it’s hard. If it’s hard, it means you are growing.
• People managers who veto decisions need to explain clearly. Perhaps you have additional information or context. Maybe you have experience solving the problem. Perhaps you are drawing a different conclusion from the same facts and using your authority to make a different decision. Regardless, explain it clearly to your direct report. If you consistently fail to explain, you will lose your direct report respect and trust.
• People managers should only focus on preventing catastrophic risks. As a people manager, I’m accountable for the actions of my direct report, even if I don’t explicitly approve every action, write every word, or understand all the details. I want control to minimize the possibility of failures and the associated negative feelings I will have. That’s why I micromanage and all managers micromanage at different intensity. But failure is how people learn and grow. Your job then is to focus on preventing catastrophic risk (e.g., decisions that can’t be easily unmade) while supporting your direct report’s learning through failures. That’s why it’s like good parenting.
• Direct reports need to understand why managers micromanage and take ownership of failures to reduce it. This is going to sound counterintuitive, but take the blame when a failure occurs. Don’t do this in secret but tell your manager and others, “I take full responsibility for this failure. Here’s what I learned from this failure.” Ownership of failure is one of the best ways to demonstrate growth. When a manager sees ownership and growth, it will reduce the manager’s tendency to micromanage.
• It’s okay when a professional relationships don’t work. It takes two individuals to make a relationship work. For a direct report, may be you’re ready to quit. For a people manager, perhaps you want to fire your direct report. Assuming both of you have tried to improve the professional relationship over a period of time, if things are not improving, both of you have to explore other options (e.g., switch managers, change roles, or change companies). For direct reports, don’t jump to the resigning. Consider the company’s performance and direction. Maybe the boss won’t be there in a year. For people manager, focus on evaluating the direct reports results rather than working style and think of the consequences (e.g., hiring and onboarding takes considerable time). But if the key results don’t work, you have to gracefully make a change.

Special thanks to Nick Tubach, Executive Coach @ BridgeLine Executive Coaching for feedback on the tips.

References:

• 65 Answers to “What are some good tips for 1:1s with your employees?” (if you want to wade through more tips)
• 15Five material for asking good questions: v1 & v2

[A version of this article was originally published on Nov. 2020 at shawli.substack.com. Visit to get the latest every Wednesday so you don’t miss out.]